A lifetime role and beyond ...

"It is much easier to become a father than to be one." -- acclaimed American author Kent Nerburn

There’s a Malay saying “Sayangkan isteri tinggal-tingalkan, sayangkan anak tangan-tangankan”.
Literally it means, if you love your wife, you should be prepared to venture out to work and if you love your children, you must willing to beat them when they do wrong.
I am fortunate because my late father never laid his hand on me. He brought me up with care after my mother passed away when I was six.
As Father’s Day is being rejoiced today, my memories of growing up with my ‘Abah’ in the small town of Kuala Krai in Kelantan chokingly fills my mind. He was a school teacher then but what I learned most from him was the meaning of love.
And now that I am a Papa myself, I value the need to instill the feelings of love and humility in my children.
Looking at the saying from another view, a father need not necessarily beat or hit his children for their mistake, even a grave mistake for that matter.
What can the hand do apart from hitting or beating the child?
The hands are of course Allah’s gift for humans to carry out their work. In this instance a father has to ensure that the work he does is ‘halal’ for that would lead to ‘berkat’.
A father has to ensure that what he earns is derived from his hard toil effort and not from immoral sources or activities.
The hands should also be used to comfort the children when they need support. The effect of a father literally giving a pat on the back on his son or daughter or embracing them to show his affection can leave a lasting impact. The child will grow up to appreciate the love of the father.
Another important thing that the father should do with the hands is to put them together and say prayers (berdoa) to Allah in the hope that the children will have a good, meaningful life that could enrich the live of others.
In a nutshell, here’s something I picked up from the Net about what a father means:
Fathers are a combination of many special qualities. Father:
"F" stands for forgiving; the ability to understand that mistakes made are the tools for new learning not as a reason for negative punishment that only hurts;
"A" stands for affectionate; the constant quality that is always present no matter whether in private or public and is given without reservation;
"T" stands for teacher; the ability to share through experience, to lead by example, and to help see that negatives can be turned to positives;
"H" stands for harmony; the ability to show that balance in life is attainable and where the demonstration of compromise sets the best example of a needed life skill;
"E" stands for equity; the building of a valued relationship occurs through each day not just set aside for special days, and where love is built upon as a constant not as an exception;
"R" stands for reason; where decision are explained, where children are involved in the process of decision making and not as simply blind obedience.
B. R. Pulsifer

More than able ....

Disabled doesn’t mean unable.
Born without legs and “my right hand is my everything”, Tuah Atan stood against all odds to become a lawyer.
After 20 years in the legal profession, Tuah continues to be "OKU activist" having been instrumental in drafting the Disabled Persons Act 2007. [OKU -- Orang Kurang Upaya (disabled person)].
“I tell myself enough is enough. If we want to do something, the mindset must be changed from sympathy to empathy.

“Physical attributes is all in the mind…it’s up to the individual to improve his life so he can live honourably.
At a lunch talk in Wisma Bernama today, the 48 year-old lawyer spoke of the challenges he had to face in his life pursuit.
“My life has its bitter and sweet moments…it depends on how you look at it.
“I’m just like you all, I need to be loved, I want to love, I want to give…and I guess other disabled persons feel the same way.
He said he succeeded because his parents gave him undivided love and support.
“Our home was a humble place but it was heaven for me,” he said about his ‘kampung’ in Asahan, at the foot of Gunung Tahan near the Melaka-Johor border.
"My father respected my needs..he provided me not just with academic but religious studies as well," he said.
He recalled how difficult it was for him to enter school as “there was no precedent” to take in someone like him.
He had to sit for some ‘IQ test’ at a hospital where he was asked to put blocks of shapes into the right holes.
“That was shameful and I told my dad that if I had to do those silly things, it was better that I didn’t go to school.
“The doctor who overheard our conversation was surprised I already spoke ‘Queen’s English although I was just seven then,” said Tuah who learnt the language in kindergarten.

When it was time for school admission, Tuah said he heard the headmaster telling the class teacher: “This is our new student, I don’t know how he can fit in”.
Although he felt bad, the young Tuah took up the challenge when he was placed in Standard 1D – “the last class”.
“My classmates were initially afraid of me. I was an alien to them and they thought I would bite them or eat them up,” said Tuah.
However, he won them over when he taught some of them to read and write.
“I didn’t have legs and hand but I have a little knowledge that I share with them on reading and writing…and they gave me their legs and hands.
“Isn’t it fair?…a gain-gain situation,” he exclaimed.
They got on so well in their studies that the following year, Tuah managed to take along 21 classmates -- half of his class, for promotion to Standard 2A. He remained among the top students, up to university level.
“I joined in the games the boys played in school…..why?
“It’s not that I actually wanted to play but I want to make friends.
“A disabled person who keeps to himself will be very lonely….when I opened up, I made a lot of friends,” he said.
He also made lots of friends because he took the effort to learn languages.
Apart from Malay and English, he speaks Melaka Hokkien, “a little bit of Tamil” and French “which helps me when I’m abroad”.
When he entered University Malaya to do Law, he had to hitch a ride on his friend’s motorcycle to get to class and when their lectures clashed, he had to walk on his own.
“Once I was riding pillion when it rained…the motorcycle skidded and hit a tree.
“It caused a loud noise and everyone rushed to us.
“Suddenly a girl student screamed ‘This accident is so serious, he lost his legs and hand’,” said Tuah.
"Despite in pain, my friend Ibrahim, now a Datuk, couldn’t control himself and broke into laughter," he said.
Tuah was active in campus.
“I even have my own band – ‘Musang Blues’ when I was in Third College,” said Tuah, who now runs his own legal firm, handling syariah and civil cases.
When he was in university, the late academician Dr Ismail Salleh, who was blind, became his idol.
"I kept a photo of him which eventually turned yellowish," he said.

On a lighter vein, Tuah said he often told youths especially "Mat Rempits" to value their lives.
"I tell them that if they continue with their stunts, they might end up like me...without legs and hand," he said with a smile.
(Wikipedia: A Mat Rempit is a Malaysian term for "an individual who participates in illegal street racing", usually involving underbone motorcycles, colloquially known as Kapcai).
For his deeds, Tuah was named the Tokoh OKU Melaka 2009 where he received the award last April. He had earlier been accorded with the Junior Chambers Youth Award 1995, Melaka Human Resource Award (disabled person category) and Melaka Disabled Person Award 1996.
The fourth of nine siblings has also won the state’s Tokoh Maal Hijrah (Professional) twice in 1997 and 2008.

(Bernama photo: Tuah receiving the ‘Tokoh OKU Melaka 2009’ award from the chief minister's wife, Datin Seri Asmah Abd Rahman at the state-level OKU Day celebrations in April 2010.)

Flash triggers excitement ...

A flash can have several meanings.
For new agencies, the term is use to define news alert to subscribers of a major story. It is a one-sentence item that are transmitted as swiftly as possible once information is received from reliable sources.
The Cabinet reshuffle today is a good example of how Bernama, as a news agency, breaks a major story using flash.
After getting the statement from the Prime Minister’s Office, the editor on duty sends out a ‘one-liner’ on the new appointments to subscribers – the first ‘flash’ out around 5.30pm.
As the minor reshuffle involves several ministers and deputy ministers – mostly from MCA, several ‘one-liners’ on the appointments were thus sent out.
This helps subscribers especially radio and television stations to make spot announcements on air or run crawlers on screen.
As for newspaper subscribers, the ‘flash’ helps them to prepare their write-ups or otherwise, expect the stories from Bernama.
During the days of teleprinter, the sub-editors will indicate three to five ‘bells’ to the flash to notify subscribers the varying importance of the story.
Apart from Cabinet reshuffle, flash are used for election and sports results, court decisions, disasters and major government announcements including highlights of the Budget tabled in Parliament.
As the cabinet reshuffle had been speculated for weeks, there was no doubt that the Bernama news flash triggered excitement especially among its media subscribers across the nation.
It takes just a one-liner – the Bernama flash and one Malaysia is alerted of the Cabinet reshuffle.
For the record, MCA President Chua Soi Lek kept his promise to be left out of the Cabinet so as to concentrate on the party after a gruelling party election in March. Transport Minister Ong Tee Keat, who lost the president's post to Chua, was dropped.
The portfolio was taken up by secretary-general Kong Cho Ha, the Housing and Local Government Minister. Vice -president Chor Chee Heung, the deputy finance minister, was promoted to Housing and Local Government Minister while deputy president Liow Tiong Lai remained as Health Minister.
Another vice president Ng Yen Yen kept her Tourism portfolio while Donald Lim Siang Chai, another veep, is the new Deputy Finance Minister.
MIC Deputy President G.Palanivel, made a Senator recently, returned as Deputy Minister of Plantation Industries and Commodities.
PPP longest-serving vice president Maglin Dennis D'Cruz was appointed as Deputy Information Communications and Culture Minister to take over from Heng Seai Kie who moved to Women, Family and Community Development Ministry.
Serian MP Richard Riot received a 'Gawai' gift when he was made Deputy Foreign Minister -- the slot reserved for Sarawak United Peoples’ Party (SUPP) that was held by Robert Lau Hoi Chew, who died in April.